Xanthe's Song

for Xanthe Ro Laren 1991-1993

And while I'm away
I may forget everything between tomorrow and today

Am I disillusioned? Do I make sense to you?
Do you see through my confusion? Understand my point-of-view?
Do I abuse my illusions, just a product of fate?
Do I create my own confusion when I sit and contemplate?
I live inside illusions that are my days and nights
Tired of all of these intrusions, I'll just give up the fight

I don't understand how I ended up this way
I wish that I could somehow forgo today for tomorrow

I'm two souls striving for control of one heart
The internal confrontation is ripping me apart
But this choice is not mine, but for my inner two
and they are unresolvable so who am I to you?

I've been everywhere, future and past
the present is never enough
I am Hamlet and Ophelia, the Hanged Man and the Tower
acceptance is just beyond my reach
And I've been what I can: machine, woman, man
and eixstence can never be enough

And when I came back from the away
I forgot everything between tomorrow and yesterday

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